Blonde Jokes

Q. Did you hear about the funny blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A. She burned her lips on the tailpipe.

How Do you drive a blonde insane?
put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner

Q. Why don't blondes eat Jello?
A. They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.

What does it mean if a blonde is lying on your bed, gasping and calling your name?
you didn't hold the pillow down long enough

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all are walk over a bridge. A genie then appears in front of them and says "I will grant each of you one wish. Just jump off this bridge, say what you want to be, and you will become that."
The brunette jumps off and shouts "A swan." She turns into a swan and flies into a gun range where she is shot and killed.
The redhead jumped off and yelled "A married woman." Her dream husband appeared next to her. As they both fell, the redhead realized that they jumped off a bridge over the highway. They both splat on the ground and die on impact.
The blonde stands on the edge of the bridge and a gust of wind pushes her off. As she is falling she exclaims "Oh shit."

Two blondes are sitting on a park bench when one decided to ask "Which do you think is further away, Florida or the sun?" After a few second of thinking the other answers "Well think about it this way you can't see Florida from here can you?"

Q. What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg?
A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer.

She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind Of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.

The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at The blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.

What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

what do you call 20 blondes standing ear to ear?
a wind tunnel

BTW: that one about the loan is like, my favorite evar

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to dye her hair so she would look like a brunette. Once she was finished and her hair was brown, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,

"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"